Take Me to the Riot
by sachi-sama
Summary: Dave's got a movie coming out soon, John's finally on break from school and neck-deep in planning a wedding, Karkat's terrified of airplanes, and Gamzee- well, he's just along for the ride. Sequel to 'The District Sleeps Alone Tonight!
1. Chapter 1

_Welcome to the sequel to 'The District Sleeps Alone Tonight.' If you've not read that one, __**go do it! GO DO IT NOW!**__ With that said, I really like the idea of our favorite boys having an easy thing to do, but it becomes chaotic for no real reason other than the fact that they're all pretty stupid. So that's the theme for this story. There will be more drama than the other one, but not to worry. It's not my usual brand of drama. For those reading, thanks! It means a lot! So let's get a move on, shall we?_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but I own the plot. So suck it.**_

* * *

_Take Me to the Riot_

_(Stars)_

_[Grey skies and light fading, headlamps making patterns on the wall. Uptown, it's dead now, but out here no one seems to care at all. Sick girls and sick boys and each one lining up to take him home. They hold tight their coin and they pray no one has to see them fall.]_

Your name is John Egbert, and one day you're seriously going to remember to put your fucking phone on silent before you go to sleep.

Grumbling to yourself, you manage to reach over and hit the volume button, stopping the chiming noise immediately, but it's too late. You're already awake. Dave mumbles something, but from the way he's practically drooling on your shoulder blades, you can tell he's not awake just yet. He has a serious talent for being able to sleep through anything. For a brief moment, you consider rousing him just to be spiteful, but then think better of it. You're just tired and grumpy.

You unlock your phone and check the newest message.

_-grimAuxillatrix [GA] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 09:07-_

_GA: I Assume You Are Awake At This Point_

_GA: Did You Have Any Particular Shade You Would Like To Wear For The Big Day_

_EB: kanaya._

_EB: do you purposely forget about a little thing called time zones? because those are a big thing._

_GA: I Did Not Forget Any Such Thing_

_GA: It Is After Nine There_

_EB: and i was asleep!_

_GA: Dave is rubbing off on you, John._

_GA: That Was Rose_

_EB: okay._

_GA: She Sends You Salutations_

_EB: look this is really adorable and all, but i think i might pass back out again. if that's okay with everyone involved._

_GA: You Did Not Answer My Question_

_EB: i don't care what colors we wear!_

_GA: I Will Ask Again When You Are Equipped With A Better Attitude_

_EB: thanks a bunch._

_-grimAuxillatrix [GA] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 9:12-_

Reminding yourself to shoot both Rose and Kanaya a particularly nasty message about asking you anything before noon, you bury your face in your pillow and try to fall asleep again, but no such luck. You're wide awake on the first morning of your summer break. Lucky you.

Pushing Dave's arm off your waist, and dodging when he tries to grab you again, you make your way to the kitchen to find something to eat, only to find you're not alone in your house.

"Good morning to my motherfuckin' early bird brother. What are you all up and awake for?"

You stare at Gamzee, who's sitting on the stool at your kitchen island like he does it every day, and then shrug when you realize asking questions at this point won't accomplish anything. He watches you make your way to the refrigerator, that stupid grin plastered to his face. Finally, you ask the inevitable question.

"Why are you here?"

"I have an official motherfuckin' message from Karbro on this most miraculous of days," Gamzee walks around you to put on some oven mitts you left on the counter, and you watch interestedly as he removes an entire pan of muffins from the oven.

"And you couldn't message it over Pesterchum?" you ask.

"You get all up and irritated when we message early."

You grin at him, taking the eggs from the fridge, and walk around him to find a pan from the cabinets. "I knew I liked you for a reason, Gamzee. But that doesn't explain how you got in here."

"I made a key."

"Well, that's not illegal or anything."

"You want one of these muffins?"

"I don't like baked goods. Thanks, though. Dave might want one later, so leave one out for him."

"Will do, my brother."

You start frying eggs, and Gamzee eats about four muffins before your curiosity starts to bother you.

"So what's the message from Karkat?"

He blinks up at you, a puzzled expression on his face, and then he smiles stupidly at you.

"I don't motherfuckin' remember."

You roll your eyes, turning back to your breakfast. While you're at it, you go ahead and make some bacon for Dave, since he would seriously live off it if he could. Gamzee continues to stare into space like he's thinking about whatever it is he forgot, and then you decide to go get dressed and leave him to it. You get about three steps into your bedroom before Dave finally rolls over to acknowledge your presence.

"Somethin' smells good…" he mumbles, his face halfway hidden under the pillow.

"I made eggs and bacon. Oh, and Gamzee made muffins."

"Gamzee?"

"Yeah. He has a key to our house."

"Fuck, again?"

"_Again?"_

"Yeah, man. I thought I told you about all those times I'd get home to find him eating his way through our chips while you were at school. I finally changed the locks," Dave says, sitting up. "I wanna know how the hell he got our keys to make a copy."

"It's Gamzee, who knows," you say, pulling on your favorite blue shirt. "Remind me why we're friends with him again."

"Well, he did save our asses that one time. You know, when you were too drunk to function."

"Fuck. You."

Dave smirks, and then walks up to wrap his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest. "Where's my good morning kiss?"

"Up your ass with the massive stick that's been lodged up there since I met you."

"Ouch. Sass, much?"

"Kanaya woke me up and I'm grumpy."

"Was it a question about fashion?"

"It was."

"Mmm," he leans in to kiss you, and it's full of morning breath, but you still press back against him, unable to help yourself. Dave's not wearing his sunglasses, so you look into his crimson orbs when he pulls away, only to see he's regarding you with a fond smile.

"What?" you ask, still unused to him being so emotive around you sometimes.

"Your hair is massive amounts of ridiculous right now, babe."

"I just woke up!" you defend, hands shooting to try and press it down on impulse. Dave's golden strands always seem so _manageable_. Sometimes you hate him for it. Stupid Striders and their perfect hair.

"'S cool. I think it's kinda sexy. Bedhead, y'know."

"Yeah, yeah," you scowl, but pull him in for another short kiss regardless. "Does Mr. Big Hollywood Director have any plans today?"

"I was thinking we could just stay in. After kicking Gamzee out."

"That's not very nice. He saved you a muffin."

"Oh, sweet. Okay, after I eat my muffin we'll kick him out."

"Sounds like a plan."

Breakfast turns out to be surprisingly enjoyable. Gamzee regales you both with a story about the first time he got high with Karkat. Apparently Karkat had an entire theory on how mankind didn't actually exist, and you were all part of a computer simulation. Then he got sick because he drank too much before smoking, and ended up becoming best friends with the toilet.

"You know he'll fucking kill you if he finds out you told us this," Dave says, finishing his fourth piece of bacon.

"He ain't motherfuckin' here."

"You keep making copies of our keys and I'm telling him you told us," you mumble. Gamzee grins at you.

"So the big day is only a week away, huh?"

"Is it really so big?" Dave asks, reaching for more bacon before you slap his hand away. He frowns at you. "I mean, it's not like we aren't already pretty much married by this point."

"I'm with him," you say, slapping his hand from the bacon again. "I'm all for having everybody visit again, and I'm looking forward to everything, but it's gonna be a serious cluster fuck. Plus the media will be all over this and everything…"

Dave's movie, _Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff The Movovie_, is finally finished filming. They wrapped up about two weeks ago, and his editing team is finishing the rest of it. The press has been a nightmare from the start. Since his comics were so popular, word naturally got around. They camped outside your house more than a few times since the beginning of the fiasco. Then, when it came out that Dave was actually in a long term relationship with a man, things got even worse. You'd had the pleasure of being referred to as _'Strider's Twink'_ by the tabloids. You'd never seen Dave so furious. He'd called his agent, Terezi, and all but screamed that he wanted every last one of the assholes killed. You tried to assure him it didn't bother you much, but you knew neither of you really believed that.

You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to go with him to California. You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to marry him. You understand that people like to get involved in the personal lives of celebrities for some reason, and you don't really give a shit that they posted things about your relationship with Dave everywhere. What upset you was the way you were portrayed in the articles. You weren't some pale skinned skinny eyesore who _somehow_ managed to get Dave to shack up with you. Dave's told you more than enough times how much he loves you just for being your natural nerdy self, and you don't need constant reminders of that, but-

It still hurts sometimes to be told Dave's too good for you, even if you know it's not true.

"We don't have to do it, man," Dave says for the thousandth time, breaking you from your reverie. "We can just put it off till the hype about the movie is over-"

"_No._ I said I was nervous, not that I wanted to cancel it," you argue. "We'll just have to hire great security or something." You think back to the muscly guy Roxy had working for her that night at her club, and you wish you knew people that big who could punch a few paparazzi clowns in the face for you.

"Sounds like a motherfuckin' big deal if I ever heard one," Gamzee says.

You make your way to get more coffee, thinking of how you should find a way to invite Roxy and Jane to the wedding, when Gamzee slaps the table, startling you into tossing your mug in the air before it crashes at your feet.

"Shit! Gamzee, what the hell, man!" Dave says, looking like he jumped from the barstool at the sound.

"I all up and remembered what it was I had to be telling y'all!" Gamzee says with a triumphant grin. "Karbro said he won't be able to make the wedding. He's got an emergency back in Washington."

_[Saturday nights in neon light, Sunday in the cell. Pills enough to make me feel ill, cash enough to make me feel well. Take me, take me to the riot! And let me stay. Let me stay.]_

* * *

_Sachi: End of the first chapter! Sorry for the length, the rest will be longer. This is an intro of sorts. Review for love and a faster update! We gotta support our boys, y'know! *wonks for eternity*_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hola! I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday. I FINALLY got a GPS. You guys have no idea how badly I needed one. I have zero sense of direction. But enough of that, onto your love! Already reviews, follows, and favorites! You guys truly spoil me. __PantherKing64__, hello to you again, lovely! *squishes back* I'm all about DaveJohn and DirkJake these days. I'll be around for a while! __Kira-Lime Orijima__, hehehe, glad you're on board, love! YOU'RE WELCOME! __Winged Illusion__, ahhh, you're so sweet! Come here and let me love you! __Rai Rai Blue__, you're a tease with reviews! Cliffhangers are my forte, you know! Glad you were pleased! __darkestlight96__, I'm really happy you're excited! It's really fun to write in this universe. Alright, my lovelies. On with the story!_

* * *

_Two Weeks_

_Grizzly Bear_

_[Save up all the days. A routine malaise. Just like yesterday, I told you I would stay. Would you always, maybe sometimes, make it easy? Take your time.]_

You're Dave Strider, and today is starting to look more and more like absolute shit.

Yeah, okay, you get why this is important and all. Karkat is pretty much John's best friend, and ever since the word 'emergency' came out of that juggalo asshole's mouth, John has been fidgeting and anxious to hear just what exactly that emergency was. If either of you had opted to have the position of best man filled at your wedding, you can't help but think Karkat would be John's. He had told you he would never think of having a best man, because he wouldn't be able to choose between Jake and Karkat.

"Besides, Dave," he had said with a huge smile, "you'd be my best man, and since I'm marrying you, it'd be unfair."

You hadn't been able to argue with that logic, despite the fact that if _you_ had a best man, even if you _didn't _give the title to Dirk, he'd come attack you with a shitty sword and promote _himself_ to best man. He's a complete douchesprit that way.

All that aside, you are perfectly aware that you and John needed to get to the bottom of this potential fiasco, because even if the little shouty asshole is a pain in your side that you like to bother incessantly, Karkat is one of your best friends, too. Still, spending the first day of John's summer break stuck in the car with Gamzee lounging in the backseat like it's a recliner from a five-star fucking hotel was _not_ how you pictured this day going. You didn't want to leave the bed, much less the house. But Gamzee insisted he couldn't actually _tell_ the two of you the emergency, because Karkat had threatened his shins.

"He ain't motherfuckin' able to reach much else," Gamzee had said. "Those little feet hurt like tit-bitch _shit_."

So that's how you ended up driving through traffic that seemingly came out of nowhere, just to go across the city and ask Karkat a question he won't answer. John had already tried to pester him, but there was no response. You don't think you're _grumpy_ exactly, but you're certainly in a mood. As far as you're concerned, no one should have any reason to blame you.

Between being on set for your movie, tweaking the comics into a script worth its weight in shit, having impromptu lunches with Wilson, Stiller, and their agents, being dragged around Hollywood by your agent who's more like a shark than a blind woman, watching the obvious hate/love fest between said agent and the other Serket chick, and managing your ironic empire complete with music and the business half, you've pretty much been busy every waking hour. Then, John had his school, which literally buried him in work from the moment he set foot on campus. Your poor little nerd was working himself into a coma. You actually came home once to find him in the bathtub, fully clothed, with textbooks around him. He said he didn't even remember getting in the tub, and you chose not to mention the fact that he got in a full bathtub with clothes on without knowing.

Needless to say, you hadn't seen much of John since he was on Christmas break, and you intended to fix that by seeing much, _much_ more of him. This little detour is already on your nerves and you haven't even reached your destination yet.

"Are you fucking sure you can't just call the asshole up? I can get him to talk in less than a millisecond if he'd just pick up the phone," you say, anxious to get back home.

"No way, my righteously in a hurry to get his motherfuckin' mack on brother. Ain't no way he's answering," Gamzee says.

"Is someone like, in danger? Is that the emergency?" John asks, looking back at the lanky cockblock taking up your entire backseat.

"Ain't no danger to be in."

"I am literally almost done with this already," you say, and John swats your thigh.

Once you park the car in the driveway of the complex, John hops out and roams around the car to wait for you to get out. Gamzee crawls out of the backseat in a way that somehow resembles a sloth and a spider simultaneously.

"Seriously, dude," you say to Gamzee as he slinks beside you. "What's this goddamn emergency. Because if it's not a life or death matter, my shit will flip. It will literally flip off the goddamn handle, and y'all are gonna have to watch it 'cause you'll be so fucking mesmerized you won't be able to look away."

"Ask Karbro, my metaphorical bro. It ain't my place to be telling all that much, you feel? It's like, if you told me to tell Karbro something, but not some other thing, I'd all up and keep your secret. Because friendship is just…this perfect motherfuckin' miracle, you know? It ain't worth a pile of shit if we ain't loyal to each other."

"Oh, I forgot. It's past 8am, you're already higher that Mel Gibson on the fucked up one to Charlie Sheen scale."

The apartment complex is ridiculously big, and Karkat lives toward the top. He and Sollux moved into this place about four months ago once they finally decided to get "serious", and Gamzee got another place about three blocks down with Tavros. You still don't know if he and Tavros are a thing or what, because as far as you're concerned, they'd be the weirdest couple you know. Dirk and Jake currently have that title, because your brother has a horse/sex puppet fetish, and English has an odd obsession with guns and blue people or some shit.

Once you're off the elevator, John flies to Karkat's door and starts knocking. By the time you and Gamzee join him, you can hear shouting.

"Go the fuck away!" Karkat yells. "It's too goddamn early!"

"It's us!" John says, knocking again. "Let us in!"

"Oh, no fucking way. I'm not in the mood for you and Skeleton Jack today. Do me a favor and find someone else to suck the life from."

John casts you a pitiful glance, and you nudge Gamzee in the shoulder.

"Do you have a key to Karkitty's place?" you ask.

"Sure motherfuckin' do."

Gamzee's key ring reminds you of a janitor's. He searches through them, and you wonder which one is the key to your place. Even if you change the locks again, you don't think it will help. You can't even recall the lanky bastard ever having your keys long enough to make a copy. John is eyeing it warily, too.

When he gets the door open, you file inside to find Karkat on the couch with a pillow over his head.

"I said to go the fuck away," he says, his voice muffled. John takes the liberty of sitting beside him, and hits the top of the pillow.

"So what's the emergency?" he asks.

"None of your business, crotch breath."

"Did Sollux dump your ass?" you ask, and he lifts the pillow slightly to glare at you.

"No. He's in his computer room. Don't you guys have anything better to do than harass me first thing in the goddamn morning?"

"Well, it's kind of a big deal that you won't come to our wedding," John says.

"I said _might not_ be able to, not that I wasn't indefinitely. God, Gamzee, do you listen when I talk or does it literally scramble your brain even more to focus for three fucking minutes?"

"I all up and said exactly what you said!"

"Karkaaaaaat," John says, hitting the pillow repeatedly. "What's going on?"

"Look, I have to go to Washington for a few days, and since I'm not flying-"

"Wait, if you're going all the way back there, why the fuck aren't you flying?" you ask. "I mean, that's like a day long drive."

"Airplanes are terrifying, okay! They're giant fucking metal deathtraps, hovering thousands of feet on the air, just waiting to make a nosedive toward the ground, and I am _not_ setting _foot_ in one!" Karkat's eyes are huge as he finally sits up, and you don't think you've seen him so scared since the night the four of you were harassed by the thugs on the way back to Roxy's club. John puts a hand on his shoulder, and they share a brief glance. Karkat visibly deflates.

"So you're driving almost twenty hours? Dude, that's insane. It'd be like a two hour flight, just take some Valium or something," you say, ignoring the glares from both of them. You had made that same drive just a little over a year ago, but that was because you and John were moving all your things to California to stay. If you were going to visit, you'd fly. It just makes more sense to you. Then again, by this point, you're pretty much used to airplanes.

"It's not that fucking easy, alright?" Karkat snarls at you. "I just- I can't. Planes are something I can't do. It's not like I'm not already berating myself about it; I don't need any grief from you!"

"Hey, so you're scared of something. Congratulations, you're human. All I'm saying is-"

"Karkat," John interrupts, and you take that as your cue to shut up. "C'mon, what's up? Why do you have to drive there anyway?"

Karkat rolls his eyes and flops back into the cushions. "My dad died," he says.

"Oh, man, I'm so sorry," John says, casting you another glance. You jump when something wraps around your shoulder, but relax when you realize it's just Gamzee's floppy arm.

"It's all up and motherfuckin' tragic," he says. "Some of that sunrise, sunset shit. Ashes to motherfuckin' ashe-"

"Gamzee, shut the fuck up you oozing sack of anal leakage."

"Sure thing, best friend."

You shrug his arm off your shoulder and venture toward the hallway, not knowing exactly what you're supposed to do. You can't relate to any of this. Your dad was never in the picture, and your mom died when you were so young, you don't remember it. You've never been good as the shoulder to cry on, and you're pretty bad at empathy. John will be better at that than you.

When you hear the sound of clacking, you stop. The door to the computer room is cracked open, and you take the liberty of letting yourself in. Sollux is at the computer, diligently typing away. He's surrounded by empty cans of Monster, and the room reeks of weed.

"Hey, asshole," he says to you, barely turning his head. "I thought I heard you in here."

"You thought right," you say, roaming around to see what he's working on. The screen is a weird arrangement of numbers and codes. "What the fuck am I looking at?"

"I'm hacking," he says with a grin. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, Karkat told us he's driving twenty hours to Washington. I figured, you know, I'm not used to being the voice of reason, so I left before things got even more backwards. Like, next thing we know, Gamzee will start doing long freehand equations with Sharpie all over the walls. I'm Rod Sterling, and this is The Twilight Zone."

"Jesus, you talk too much," Sollux sighs. "And yeah, for the record, I told him to fly, too. If he flew, I'd go with him. But I've got too much shit to do for a four or five day trip."

"Can't you just take a break or something?" you ask. "I mean, I'm your boss, too. I'll give you time off."

"I work for tons of different people," Sollux says. "I've got two new websites to set up this week, and if I don't, I won't be able to make my car payment."

"Dude, Karkat's fucking loaded," you inform him. "Can't you just get him to-"

"No. Our money is separate. I don't want him thinking this was ever about money. Besides, I offered to drop everything and go with him already, and he freaked out and told me not to. I don't really get what the big deal is anyway."

"Didn't his dad die?"

"Yeah, but it's not like they were close. As far as I know, they haven't even talked in years. KK told me he hated his old man."

"Damn. Well, it's cool of him to bury the hatchet and go to his funeral, I guess."

"Funeral?" Sollux asks. "His dad's been dead for like a week, dude."

Okay, what the actual fuck? You're determined to get to the bottom of this now, but Sollux seems unwilling to elaborate, and is already typing away again, the screen becoming even _more_ confusing to you. Deciding to rejoin the others and leave him to it, you go to the door.

"Oh, by the way," Sollux says to you as you reopen the door, "I want to make a speech at your ridiculous wedding."

"I dunno, man, I don't think I trust you enough for that shit."

"I think I'll tell the story of that time in high school where you wore a dress to school."

"Bro won a strife, and we had a bet placed. Shit wasn't my fault," you shrug. "Besides, I looked fabulous."

"True."

When you reenter the living room, you find John standing beside the coffee table, looking toward you.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

"Um, yeah. Everything cool?" you ask, looking around. You're the only two in the room.

"Karkat's going to smoke a joint with Gamzee on the balcony. So I guess we're cool to go," he says, leading you out. "Were you talking to Sollux?"

"Yeah, he's doing computer geek shit. Dude, did he tell you his dad's been dead for a week? Like, what the fuck?"

"It's complicated, I'll tell you later," John says absently. "I want to think about other things, anyway. Death isn't how I wanted to start my vacation!"

"How'd you wanna start it then?"

He grins mischievously and hooks his fingers in your belt loops. "I was thinking we'd stay in bed."

"Oh, man. We can make that happen. We can so literally go home right now and make that a thing."

To say you rush home would be an understatement. There probably aren't any traffic violations left for you to break. John's already handsy on the porch, pressing himself against you while you fumble for the lock. As soon as the door opens, you turn and grab him, pulling his mouth to yours and groaning at the feeling of finally, _finally_ having him close.

"Dave," he says in a breathless voice as your hands re-familiarize themselves with his premium ass, and you groan when he rocks forward, his groin rubbing against yours just _so_.

"Shit, babe," you hiss, tugging him more insistently towards your room. Kicking the door closed behind you, you press him firmly into the bed, fully intending to make the rest of the afternoon memorable, but your body won't let you take things too slow.

The chants of your name and skin against skin fill the whole room, both your heavy breaths echoing off the walls. You're inside him, and he's stretched around you, letting you in over and over again. And fuck- it's so good, you can't stop yourself from setting a rough pace, slamming in repeatedly. Once you find that special spot, you aim for it every time, enjoying the view as John literally comes undone under you, screaming when he arches in climax. It doesn't take long before you're joining him. He laughs breathlessly when you collapse on top of him.

"God," he says, roaming his fingers through your sweaty hair. You hum in agreement, lazily kissing his neck.

"I think I wanna just stay in bed for the rest of the day," you say, acknowledging the fact that it's only about three in the afternoon.

"I don't know, I'm getting pretty hungry now," John says. "I think we burned away our breakfast."

"Mmm. I vote we order take-out."

"I second that vote."

"Cool, so it's decided. Motion fucking passed. Don't we have a menu somewhere?"

"Yeah, it's in that cabinet above the microwave. You know, the one full of take-out menus we've collected over the years?" John grins.

"Chinese sound good to you?"

"I could go for some lo mein, yeah."

"Sweet. Now, are you gonna go get the menu, or am I gonna have to push your sweet ass out of bed?"

"Oh my god, you lazy prick. I'll go get it, but you're ordering! I can't understand a word they say when I call."

You watch as he gets up, picks up his boxers, and heads to the bathroom. You're content to just lie there peacefully in your afterglow.

But then your fucking phone starts chiming.

Rolling over to find your pants, you pull your phone from your pocket and check the newest pester. Unfortunately for you, it's your agent.

_-gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:19-_

_GC: H3Y COOL K1D_

_GC: 4R3 YOU R34DY FOR TH1S 4M4Z1NG N3WS 1 H4V3 FOR YOU_

_TG: i shouldve fucking known id hear from you today_

_TG: every time you promise me a break you lie to me like goddamn dog_

_TG: this news better be spectacular because i was in the middle of something important_

_GC: OH WH4T3V3R DR4M4 QU33N!_

_GC: YOUR3 NOT DO1NG 4NYTH1NG TOO 1MPORT4NT_

_TG: this is life or death importance that i am doing here_

_TG: as in getting my mack on_

_TG: as in round two_

_TG: so what the fuck do you want_

John emerges from the bathroom and tosses you a towel so you can clean up, and you lazily wipe your stomach clean with one hand while continuing your conversation in the other.

_GC: TH3 D4T3 FOR YOUR MOV13 H4S_

_GC: B33N_

_GC: S3T :]_

_TG: that is seriously the ugliest emoticon ive ever seen in my life_

_TG: do you even know what it looks like since youre blind_

_TG: i know your little app is like voice activated or whatever but can you actually tell it to put those ugly emoticons in or does it just do it naturally_

_TG: like if youre sitting there talking to someone are you just like "insert the fucking frog faced looking bracket thing"_

_GC: :[_

_TG: thats not an answer_

_GC: SHUT TH3 H3LL UP!_

_TG: someones defensive of their frog faces_

_TG: wait do you even know what frogs look like_

_GC: Y3S DUMB4SS_

_GC: GOD YOUR3 4NNOY1NG_

_TG: nah_

_TG: so theyre finally finished editing huh_

_GC: Y3S!_

_GC: W3R3 LOOK1NG 4T 4BOUT 4 MONTH B3FOR3 1T DROPS_

_GC: YOUR 1RONS 4R3 1N TH3 F1R3 COOLK1D_

_TG: sweet_

_TG: any word from spiderbitch about the three movie deal_

_GC: NO TH3YR3 W41T1NG TO S33 HOW TH1S ON3 DO3S W1TH TH3 PUBL1C_

_TG: understandably safe_

_TG: so basically if its a hit we have a deal_

_GC: Y3S_

_GC: SO 1TS B4S1C4LLY 4LR34DY S3T 1N STON3_

There's a crash in the kitchen, followed by a shout. Cursing, you toss your phone in the sheets and run to see what the noise was, remembering to tug your boxers on clumsily as you go.

"John, what the fuck?" you call out, hopping to get your other leg in the hole. You find him in the floor, buried under a pile of multicolored smuppets.

"T-They just fell out of the cabinet!" John squeaks, his hand emerging for you to grab. "It was like an avalanche!"

"Yeah, welcome to my life, bro. You were literally just balls deep in puppet dong. It's traumatizing, isn't it?"

"How the fuck did they get in there?!"

"Blood feud," you remind him briefly before the fucking devil himself walks into your kitchen.

"'Sup, little man," Dirk says calmly, his hands in his pockets.

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"The wedding's in a few days, we figured we'd come early and make sure you kids are behaving. But you were kind of preoccupied, so I took the liberty of restocking your cabinet."

John kicks one of the smuppets, and it makes a high pitched squeaking noise before a cloud of sparkles comes out of it. Well. That's a new feature.

"John!" An annoyingly chipper voice says. You see Jake roam around Dirk to pull John into a hug. "Apologies, mate, you weren't the target for the smuppet waterfall!"

"Casualties are common in war," Dirk shrugs.

"Y'know, I'm really fucking glad you two just invade the place whenever you feel like it. It's not like it's illegal to break into people's houses or something. I'm so glad we don't have personal barriers in this family," you grumble.

"You lived with me for years. I'm allowed."

"That's not even how that works!"

"I think it's justified." Dirk walks around to open your fridge. "You need to stock up on orange soda."

"Oh, hell no, I am not getting groceries for your fat ass."

"Least I have an ass."

"I have one, too!"

"Oh? Where? Could've fooled me, did you leave it somewhere?"

"We thought we'd go out for dinner!" Jake says cheerfully before you can retort. "The trip was a rather long one, so it might be a tad bit early for dinner, but I'm positively starved!"

"We were about to order out anyway," John says with a grin. "Did you want anything in particular?"

"Where were you ordering from?"

"Chinese place."

"Ah! I could go for some Chinese! Would that be good, Dirk?"

"Whatever you want, pumpkin," Dirk says casually, kicking a smuppet at you. Groaning, you make your way back to your room to get dressed, knowing you won't find a way out of this. As you tug your pants on, you remember the conversation you were having with Terezi, and you open your phone to find missed messages.

_GC: 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO 4CT COOL BY NOT B31NG 3XC1T3D_

_GC: D4V3!_

_GC: TH1S 1S K1ND OF 4 B1G D34L! 1 3XP3CT3D 3XC1T3M3NT!_

_GC: :?_

_GC: F1N3 YOU FLOOZY F1N1SH G3TT1NG YOUR "M4CK ON" 1LL P3ST3R YOU L4T3R_

_-gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 3:50-_

* * *

The Chinese place is packed, as usual. It's one of the many reasons you prefer ordering out. John is beside you, and you're sitting uncomfortably close to Dirk. You swear his favorite pastime is bothering you. He goes out of his fucking way to make you mad.

Suddenly, you feel like karma is paying you back for what you do to Karkat.

"So! The big day is right around the figurative corner!" Jake says, leaning on his elbows towards John. "I suppose the two of you are excited?"

"Nervous, kind of," John says with a sheepish grin. "It's just a lot to do."

"Ah, yes that's the downside of having a larger wedding," Jake says understandably. "We did ours in a little chapel in Canada."

"There was a moose outside the building," Dirk says.

"Yes! The moose! It was a truly majestic creature! Frightening, though! There were warnings posted all over about them! Those antlers were a sight."

You look at the expression on Dirk's face as Jake rambles on and on about the moose. He looks so fucking happy it almost makes you forget he's an asshole.

"Oh, apologies," Jake says when he takes a breath. "I didn't mean to get carried away like that. Is there any new business aside from the wedding?"

The waitress comes back with your drinks at this point, and you sip your Coke before you answer. "My movie's finally done," you say casually. John bounces in place beside you.

"Really?! They're done editing? When did this happen?"

"Terezi messaged me a little while ago. It's due to release in about a month."

"Absolutely splendid, Dave!" Jake says excitedly as John wraps you in a bone-crushing hug. "I hope to be one of the first to see it!"

"Yeah, y'all are both on the list."

"Nice going, lil' bro," Dirk says. "I take it that means things will slow down for a bit?"

"For a bit, yeah. I might be getting a three movie deal if this one is popular."

"I can't wait!" John says happily. "I've waited forever to see it!"

"Very thrilling, indeed! And what about you, John? How did your finals go?" Jake asks.

"Brutal. I'm glad they're over, but next semester will be even worse."

"Hopefully not, you were already a zombie this time."

"Lies and slander!"

The conversation continues this way for a bit, and then the food arrives. You dig in immediately, devouring your General Tso's like you haven't eaten in years. Oh, yeah. This stuff is the shit.

"Has anything been going on with you guys?" John asks, mouth full of lo mein noodles.

"Not lately, no," Jake says. "We've become hermits these past few weeks, I'm afraid."

"Hermits?"

"Dirk recently acquired every episode of _My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic_. It's addicting!"

"Oh my fucking god," you groan.

"Three words, Bro," Dirk says. "Rainbow fuckin' Dash."

"If only Mom could see us now," you say. "She'd be so proud."

"Word."

"Ugh, parents," John says. "Makes me think of this morning."

"Did something happen with your father, John?" Jake asks, sweet and sour sauce on his chin. You watch Dirk reach over and wipe it away with a napkin.

"Not with my dad, no. Karkat's dad died a few days ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear it. How is the poor fellow taking it?"

"They weren't close or anything. He wasn't going to go home at all, actually. The funeral was three days ago, but his brother called and said he needed to be there to get his share of the will. It's kind of a messed up situation, but you know how it is with stuff like that," John finishes.

"Ah, I don't, actually. My parents were never in the picture," Jake says.

"They weren't? I never knew that!"

"Oh, yes. My mother and father both decided they couldn't bother with me, I'm afraid. They're still alive as far as I know, but I've never even seen them. My grandmother raised me."

"I'm sorry," John says.

"Not at all! I'm not upset about it in the least! I don't pretend to understand their decision in the least bit, and I was awfully sad about it for a long time when I was growing up, but these things happen, and we deal with the cards we are dealt. I don't wish any ill will on either of them, and I hope they're happy with their decision. It can't be helped, you know? Besides, my grandmother is the greatest woman in the world. I wouldn't trade her for either of them."

Dirk tenderly presses the napkin to his face again, and Jake laughs as his mouth is covered.

"Is that your way of telling me to shut up, Mr. Strider?" he asks your brother.

"Nope. I like hearing you talk, so have at it, bro. Let some of those premium corny phrases out."

"I can't believe he's driving twenty hours for someone he isn't even close to," you say, trying to ignore the eye fucking across from you.

"That sort of thing is complicated," John says. "Even when you're on your own and far away from them, you can still find yourself trying to make them happy."

* * *

When you get back home, Jake declares a movie night, which John immediately agrees to. You're left helpless to whichever piece of cinematic shit they decide to choose, but you're not really too bent out of shape about it. They're wearing matching dorky grins the entire time they're going through the movie cabinet, and you catch Dirk staring with a small smile on his face, same as you.

Journeying to the kitchen to help John make popcorn, you wrap your arms around his waist from behind and pull his back to your chest.

"They're interrupting our sexy time," you say.

"Calling it 'sexy time' kinda makes it lose the sexiness, Dave."

"Nah."

"So listen. I'm kinda worried about Karkat," John says.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. Gamzee will go with him since Sollux can't. They can bond some more."

"Yeah, I guess…" John agrees.

"Besides, we have more pressing matters here. Like the two assholes trying to claim our place as theirs."

"Oh, c'mon! I like having them here! Jake's one of my best friends, and your brother is super cool!"

"Cool, yeah. But he's still an asshole."

"I think it'll be fun. Just try to stop being so paranoid that he's out to get you or something," John grins. "Oh, hey, can you hand me the big bowl from the cabinet above your head?"

"Yeah, yeah." You reach up to open the cabinet, and are immediately buried by the mountain of smuppets hidden inside, Dirk's chuckling audible over your curses.

_[Every time you try, quarter half the mile. Just like yesterday, I told you I would stay. Would you always, maybe sometimes, make it easy? Take your time. Always, sometimes, easy, time.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Review for love and a quicker update! The plot is about to thicken! THICKEN, I SAY!_


	3. Chapter 3

_HAPPY 2014! If you're like me at all, 2013 sucked, and you're hoping for a much better year. I hope all of you are able to make the most of your new year! I don't have much to ramble about this go around, because I'm sick and even typing drains my energy, so onto your love! __Kira-Lime Orijima__, glitter was an add-on feature I thought was necessary. I'm working on my smut! Glad you liked it! __PantherKing64__, I wouldn't worry too much! It's not the drama you're used to from me! __Team Valdez__, glad to see you in the sequel, love! Stay pumped, and don't be too wary of me. I'm pretty docile in this particular universe. __Rai Rai Blue__, my sister and I used to fist fight a lot, but that was about the extent of our interaction, hahaha. Karkat does have a brother in this fic! You won't guess who, because YOU DON'T KNOW THE POST-SCRATCH TROLLS! Gamzee is a spider/sloth in my brain. Now, on with the story!_

* * *

_Ask_

_(The Smiths)_

_[Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to! Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to! So, if there's something you'd like to try, if there's something you'd like to try, ask me, I won't say no, how could I?]_

You're John Egbert, and you're on a couch full of passed out men.

Jake is on Dirk's shoulder, slumped against him enough to press Dirk into the arm of the couch. Dave's sprawled out, his legs on both Jake and Dirk's laps, his head on your thigh. You're tired, but you can't sleep yet, because you're pestering Karkat about his upcoming trip, and it's leaving a bad feeling in your stomach.

_EB: what time are you aiming to leave?_

_CG: SOMETIME IN THE MORNING PREFERABLY. NOON MOST LIKELY BECAUSE GAMZEE WAS A FUCKING SLOTH IN A PAST LIFE._

_EB: he is very sloth like!_

_CG: YOU HAVE NO GODDAMN CLUE. IT'S ONLY GETTING WORSE AS HE GETS OLDER. I DON'T THINK HE HAS ANY OTHER SPEEDS THAN SLOW AND STOP._

_EB: hehehehe, that's very likely! i'm glad he's going with you, though._

_CG: AND WHY THE EVERLOVING FUCK ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF BAGGAGE I'M STUCK WITH?_

_EB: because it's dangerous to go alone! :B_

_CG: DID YOU JUST ZELDA REFERENCE THIS CRAPTASTIC SITUATION._

_EB: maybe._

_CG: JESUS BABYMUNCHING CHRIST._

_EB: really, though. i'm glad you're not going alone. this all must be really difficult to go through!_

_CG: I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE COCKSWALLOWING FUCK ABOUT HIM OR THE MERCIFUL FACT THAT HE'S DEAD. I'M ONLY CONCENED WITH THE INCONVINIENCE OF HAVING TO MAKE THIS UNNECESSARY TRIP WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY MORE PRODUCTIVE THINGS I COULD BE DOING WITH MY TIME._

_CG: LIKE RIPPING MY FACE OFF AND SALSA DANCING AROUND IT._

_EB: karkat._

_CG: WHAT?_

_EB: it's okay to be sad about it._

_CG: I KNOW THAT._

_EB: i don't think you do!_

_CG: WHATEVER. IF YOU'RE REFERRING TO THE FACT THAT I'M TOTALLY ALREADY OVER THIS SHIT IT'S JUST BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO BE SAD. THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER._

_EB: if you say so…_

_EB: i really hope you'll be back in time for the wedding!_

_CG: ME TOO ACTUALLY._

_EB: whoa! you really wanna be there?_

_CG: IT'LL BE A FRONT ROW SEAT TO YOU TWO ASSHOLES RUINING EACH OTHER'S LIVES._

_EB: bluh!_

_CG: ANYWAY I HAVE TO FINISH PACKING AND THINK OF THE THOUSAND REASONS I HATE MY LIFE AND WANT TO DRIVE THE CAR OFF A CLIFF FIRST THING TOMORROW._

_EB: pester me tomorrow before you leave!_

_CG: WHY?_

_EB: because i wanna hear from you! god!_

_CG: ASDFGHJKL_

_CG: FINE._

_CG: FUCK YOU THOUGH. SERIOUSLY._

_EB: bye, karkat!_

_-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:12-_

You look at the conversation over and over again, finding new flaws each time you reread. You don't know exactly how you know, but Karkat is acting strange about this entire thing. Maybe it's the fact that he's trying so hard to convince you he's okay. Usually if he doesn't care about something, he stops talking about it. And if it wasn't a big deal, why wouldn't he tell you about it as soon as it happened? You chew the inside of your cheek and try to think of anything else besides how worried you are.

"What could be the reason for such a face at this hour?" Jake's voice asks suddenly, making you jump. He's blinking wearily at you, sitting up straighter against Dirk.

"I was just talking to Karkat. Did I wake you up?"

"Oh, no. I've been in and out since we sat down, and I happened to glance over and see you looking at your phone like the world was ending," Jake grins at you. "Karkat is unwell?"

"He's not letting himself mourn about this whole thing. He keeps saying he doesn't care, but I've known him too long to fall for that. Do you think I'm just worrying over nothing?" you ask quietly.

"Hmm. If he's your friend, it's only natural to worry a little! Especially if you sense something is awry. May I ask if that's all that's troubling you, John?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

Jake shrugs, and then tries to stand up, but can't seem to get the leverage.

"I believe these Striders have me held captive!" he says, trying to wiggle his way out from under Dirk's arm and Dave's legs. He gets free from Dirk, but Dave seems unwilling to move. Jake is caught against the cushions at an awkward angle, and he casts you a sheepish look that you can't help but laugh at.

"Here," you say, reaching down to Dave's sides. Your fingers dance along his ribcage, and he snorts in his sleep, trying to swat your hands blindly away. In a last ditch effort to get away from you, he curls into himself, his legs no longer blocking Jake from sliding to the floor.

"Thank you! My arm was going numb from that awkward angle. Here I thought getting away from one Strider was difficult."

"Dirk's a clingy sleeper?" you ask with an amused smile. Jake's expression matches yours.

"Heaven's yes. Once he's out he becomes a koala."

"Who would've guess Striders were so cuddly?"

"It is certainly a trait they share. I can't blame him for being exhausted, though. We had a long day, and he's not exactly a fan of the _Indiana Jones_ movie we chose."

You manage to stand up despite Dave's whine, and side step when he tries to grab you. He makes a vexed expression in his sleep, but doesn't wake up. Jake's laughing under his breath, motioning for you to follow him as he heads for the kitchen.

He gets a bottle of water from the fridge, offering you one, which you decline. He leans against the counter and takes a deep gulp, a look on his face you can't help but smirk at. One reason you like talking to Jake so much is because he treats everything like an adventure. Even the bottle of water is his enemy, the next big thing to conquer. You wonder if that's part of what Dirk likes about him.

"So," Jake says, "this Karkat business."

"Ugh, this 'business' is gonna give me an ulcer," you say, sighing as you lean on your elbows, looking at Jake from across the island. He frowns at you.

"He's behaving strangely about the ordeal?"

"Not in the most obvious way, but it's strange for him."

"He's a really good friend of yours, hmm?"

You smile, "Yeah. When I moved out of my dad's place for school, I didn't have a plan or anything. I had a little studio apartment, which is where I lived when I met Dave in person, but it was a big adjustment! It had been just my dad and me for so long; it was scary to be away from everything. So I went exploring around the city, looking for job opportunities, or really just a way to kill time, and I met Karkat. Hehe, man, he was an asshole to me."

"An asshole?" Jake laughs. "What a charmer!"

"No, it was nice! I mean, he treated me like an old friend he was feuding with. We actually got into a debate over who would win in a fight, Spiderman, or Batman."

"Spiderman, naturally."

"That's what I said! But after we argued for a long time, he asked me if I was working anywhere, and I said no. Then he told me to be back the next day or he'd kick my ass, and we've been friends ever since! He really looked out for me when I needed it."

"I see. That _is_ true friendship. I can see why you're so concerned for him, now."

"Yeah, and Gamzee is going, but he's not exactly, uh. Emotional support," you say.

"Gamzee is the lanky fellow who curses a lot?" Jake asks.

"Yeah. I mean, they both curse a lot, but that's Gamzee."

"…He concerns me," Jake says, and you laugh at his expression, shaking your head.

"No, he's cool. They've been friends practically forever, and it was nice having his mellow drugged up face around to mix with Karkat's constant hostility and everything. They've always sort of balanced each other out." You sigh, leaning forward a little. "I don't know what I'm worried about. I guess I'm just a worrywart, like Dave says."

Jake finishes his water and tosses the empty bottle in the trash before turning back to you and giving your shoulder a squeeze.

"He helped you feel welcome when you needed it, and now he's in need as well," he says. "I believe it's only natural to be a tad bit concerned! I would say just to be there for him and hope for the best!"

You want to say it's not that easy to be there for someone who's leaving in a few hours, but you don't. You just lean against Jake and try to think of other things, but it's really not just Karkat you're worried about. You're worried about _everything_ at the moment, and somehow it's just easier to focus on someone else's problems, so you go back to worrying about Karkat.

When you go back into the living room, Jake reaches forward and stops you from walking any further, and when you look up to him questioningly, he points to the couch with a wide smile. Dirk is on his back, leaning against the arm of the couch, one leg hanging off, and Dave is curled up with his other leg, both feet hanging off the opposite end. You think you can see a spot of drool forming on Dirk's knee from Dave's snoring mouth, and you have to stop yourself from laughing.

"Can't let this one go to waste," Jake whispers, pulling his phone out to snap a few pictures. You don't hesitate to do the same. These will be great to use against Dave when you want something. Like when you want to watch a Nic Cage movie, for example. Oh, yes, the king of blackmail. It's you.

"I suppose I should wake him up. He'll get a crick in his neck from sleeping like that," Jake says after he locks his phone and places it back in his pocket. He walks over to Dirk and crouches beside the couch, running his fingers through the spiky mane of blond hair. "I do believe it's time to wake up, Mr. Strider!"

"No fuckin' way, just get your adventure happy ass back in bed," Dirk mumbles, leaning into Jake's hand.

"Well that's going to be an issue, seeing as how you're on a couch, and there's no room for me, since you're cuddling with Dave."

"Huh?" Dirk shifts and looks down, frowning at the sight. "He drooled on me," he says with a deadpan face that you snicker at.

"Afraid so, love," Jake says happily, standing up and offering Dirk a hand. "Shall we journey to the guest bedroom then? I certainly could do with some cuddling of my own."

Dirk takes his hand, and manages to yank his leg away from Dave, who grumbles and rolls over. The two of them begin walking to the hallway, and you're wondering how you should go about waking Dave up to go to bed, but then Dirk reaches out to tip the couch from behind, causing Dave to spill into the floor unceremoniously.

"What the fuck!" Dave yelps, sitting up and looking around wildly.

"That's for slobbering on my leg, you little shit," Dirk says, allowing himself to be pulled down the hall. By the time Dave stands up, they're already in the guest bedroom with the door closed. He turns to you.

"Is that a fucking smile on your face I see, you traitor?" he grumbles.

"No, of course not."

"Whatever, Benedict Egbert. You should be hung for your crimes against humanity, such as leaving me alone with Dirk the jerk to begin with. Consider this bromance officially on hold until I can think of a way for you to repent."

"I was talking to Jake! I didn't know you had such a fetish for snuggling your brother's anatomy!"

Dave scowls at you, reaching on the coffee table to grab his shades and plant them firmly on his face before he slinks into the hallway in a very catlike manner. You follow, smile still on your face at his irritation. He face plants into the bed, not even bothering with his clothes, and you shake your head as you walk over to swat him on the ass.

"Roll over, douchelord," you say, and he groans.

"I'm literally tired of moving," he mumbles.

Ignoring him, you turn him over and begin unbuttoning his pants. He watches you, his shades sliding down his nose as he peers over them, and you manage to tug his jeans all the way off before reaching up to remove his sunglasses as well. After shucking your pants somewhere in the room, you sit beside him, fumbling with your phone charger.

"C'mere, babe," Dave says suddenly, wrapping around you from behind and tugging you firmly against him. You grumble, shifting to get comfortable as he makes sure to make it as difficult as he possibly can for you. "Can we sleep all day tomorrow?" he asks as he kisses your neck.

"Depends. I might have somewhere to be," you say, leaning back against him. He sighs, his hands roaming along your sides and under your shirt.

"I don't think you should have anywhere to be. What the hell is there to do?"

"Well, we have company," you say.

"Oh, fuck those two assholes. They can keep themselves entertained. It's not like we invited them."

"And there's the thing with Karkat…"

"What thing?"

"I think he could really use a friend to lean on, Dave."

"Yeah, that's why Juggalo McGee is going with him. They should have more fun than Jade at a furries convention."

"And our wedding is a few days away!" you continue.

"…Egbert, no. If you're going where I think you're going with this, I'm screaming massive amounts of no. This train of thought needs to end. It needs to be derailed, literally on fire and crumbled to bits. Metal deathtrap kills hundreds, survivors few, and train _destroyed._"

"But, Dave-"

"Why the fuck are you so worried about him, anyway?"

"Because he's my friend! The only friend I had, and- it'd be easier to be there for him if I was actually there, because Gamzee isn't really reliable emotional support, and it's only a day and a half to get there by car if we stop at a hotel or something! The wedding is five days away!"

"Yeah, five days away, and three days of driving, in all. He'd have to wrap up whatever family drama he has in less than two days, and if all the Vantas's bitch as bad as he does, they'll never meet that deadline! It's just a bad idea."

"Yeah, fine," you grumble, curling into yourself in irritation because he doesn't understand and seems unwilling to try. He groans behind you, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't be like that, bro. C'mon, I'm not trying to be an ass or anything, I just don't get it. I mean, he seems fine with the whole thing. Did he ask you to go with him?"

"No, he didn't. But that's not the point."

"So what's the point?"

"He'd do the same for me. He'd whine and bitch that it was an inconvenience, but he'd go. Don't you remember how he and Gamzee showed up so suddenly at your gig for no reason when I got drunk that time? It was because they knew how scared I was about the whole thing, and knew I'd need them. And it was true, because without them, I never would've had the courage to tell you how I felt. And yeah, they got me drunk, but I wouldn't change anything about that night. They're a major reason we're together now, Dave, and that's not even including all they've done for me before you moved up here. I know it's stupid, and I know it's really shitty timing because we've got so much going on, but I just- I can't help but feel like I'm supposed to go."

Dave's quiet behind you, his grip still tight, and you wonder for a moment if he'd fallen asleep during your little rant, but then he sighs into the back of your head, his breath blowing against your scalp pleasantly.

"Goddammit, John," he says.

"What?"

"Why are you always such a selfless little dork when all I wanna do is be the asshole I was born to be?"

"Um. Because I'm stupid enough to be selfless at inopportune times?"

"I guess that's it," he says quietly. Nothing more is said for a little bit, and you're almost lost in your thoughts again when he breaks the silence once more. "I'm going with you. If you're going, I mean."

"Of course you're coming with me," you say, rolling over to face him. "Road trips are no fun without hipster losers hogging control of the music and slam dancing."

"My slam dancing is an art."

"Yeah, yeah. You're sure you don't care?"

"Shit man, who knows? Maybe it'll be good for us to get away for a few days before we settle down in domestic bliss. I doubt it'll be too eventful of a trip, but if you think we should be there, then we'll be there. If there's one thing I've learned about all the unnecessary drama that is my life, it's that if you think there's somewhere else you should be, then you should probably get going."

You smile at him, knowing he's talking about when he showed up unexpectedly at your doorstep, bags in hand, asking to stay with you, forever, if you wanted him to. He makes a pleased noise when you lean over to kiss him, and you let him deepen it without hesitation.

"You're the best," you say. "The best is you."

"Mmm. I think we should sleep if we've got this long ass drive to look forward to tomorrow."

"Ugh," you groan. "Alone in a car with Gamzee and Karkat. We might go crazy."

"Yeah. Just remember this was your shitty idea. I'm the innocent sailor being led astray by the siren with the pretty eyes and cute ass. My life is a tragedy."

"Shut the fuck up, Dave."

"Jesus, you're grumpy. I'm the one being led astray, here."

He grunts when you smack him, and his chuckles follow you into sleep.

* * *

_-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:03-_

_CG: I TOLD YOU I'D PESTER YOU BEFORE WE LEFT. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO CONTACT ME IF YOU ALREADY TOLD ME TO CONTACT YOU? IT'S STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS THAT MAKES ME DOUBT YOUR INTELLIGENCE._

_EB: good morning, karkat! do you think you can wait until noon to take off? i know you're probably waiting on gamzee anyway, but i wanted to make sure!_

_CG: GODDAMN RIGHT I'M WAITING ON HIM. STORY OF MY LIFE. WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT TIME WE LEAVE ANYWAY?_

_EB: i need time to pack! dave, too._

_CG: PACK? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?_

_EB: we'll be at your place in a little bit!_

_CG: MY PLACE?_

_EB: we're going with you! and you say i'm the dumb one._

_CG: WHO THE EVERLOVING FUCK INVITED YOU TWO? IF THERE'S ANYONE MORE INCOMPETENT THAN GAMZEE IT'S YOU TWO DICKSTRUMMING CUMSTAINS._

_EB: good thing we're not asking! deal with it, jizzface._

_CG:_

_CG: EGBERT._

_EB: i know. you're welcome, karkat. see you soon, okay?_

_CG: YEAH._

_CG: SEE YOU THEN._

_-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:09-_

_[If it's not love, then it's the bomb, then it's the bomb that will bring us together. So ask me, ask me, ask me! Ask me, ask me, ask me!]_

* * *

_Sachi: Review for love! I'd love to see some new names up there next chapter! *wonks*_


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